Well, as often happens I’m late to this game. But in my defense I just found this post.
My story here is first that my youngest child identifies as gender fluid. Their spouse does, as well. It has been an interesting evolution for us. Obviously, neither their mother nor my husband nor I have any issues, other than concerns about how they will be treated in life. But I will admit to having no point of reference here. Yes, I may be an out and proud gay man, but I’ve never had reason to question my gender. What I’ve come to realize is that it is not important that I understand or empathize or identify. The only important thing is for me to love and support — period. In a way, this journey has taught me a valuable lesson about my parents and others in my family when I was coming out at the ripe old age of 35. I now understand much better their struggles and questions and concerns in a way that I never could have before having to walk in their shoes, as it were.
Over my 10+ years having Piper’s, we’ve employed a handful of trans youth. We also have a number of trans (and other Q types) who have found a safe haven here. The best part of all of that are the number of deep and thoughtful discussions that I’ve been able to have with many of them. It’s no secret that I am gay and that everyone (yes, everyone) is welcome here who is respectful of others. So, I’ve had the opportunity to learn from those who are not family and who are willing to share their journeys with me. I wouldn’t trade those relationships and those learning moments for anything in the world.
I’d say that I can’t imagine the fear that exists for those caught up in this weird moment in our country’s history. Sadly, I can identify all too well. Having grown up in a very small Kentucky town in the 60s and 70s, and having to guard my own secrets for fear of the consequences of being found out, and even having made questionable decisions in order to stay in the closet (marriage and children, anyone? LOL) I can honestly say that I thought we had finally turned the page on such inhumanity. Alas, history has a way of repeating itself a few times before we finally get it right.
I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting year for Pride here in Northern Kentucky. I’m not so worried about things like loss of sponsors or less money for the events. I’ve always thought that modern Pride celebrations were too corporate and that we had assimilated a little too much and too quickly. So, I hope that we are all awakened to the fact that we as a group are our own best allies and friends and supporters, and that we can come together to get through whatever is coming. I’ve lived it once and survived — even came out better on the other side. Maybe that’s what I can offer to this next generation and movement — hope and assurance and love and whatever support I am able to offer while they fight their battle.
For me, that start with asking those who are in my life to show me the way and what they need. And to make sure they know that my door is open.
Chip A.
Square Expert & Innovator and member of the Square Champions group. (But NOT a Square employee, just a seller like you)
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