thread Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡 in Community Corner

How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 22:04:36 GMT

Every business has them from time to time - frustrated customers. While some businesses adhere to the old saying that the customer is always right, that isn't always a realistic approach. How do you handle unhappy customers? What was your best or worst experience with a customer? Reply to share your tips and success stories (or horror stories! 👻) with us!

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

sugarlab — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 03:33:49 GMT

Almost 10 years in business and I have had my fair share of cranky customers.

I do find that most people just want to be heard. They want to feel valued. When I have someone unhappy with a cake, which is typically not an inexpensive purchase, I usually like to listen (or read) what they have to say. I try to offer an explanation if there is one and then ask them "how can I make this right?". Sometimes they'll say straight up _% refund. Other times they say they don't know and then I come up with an answer. Sometimes their % refund is absurd and I tell them such in nicer terms.

I think my worst customer, or at least one that I still think about, was a mother of a bride to be. They came in for a wedding cake consultation and were getting married at a venue we partnered with for the cake. Meaning that if they booked a certain package, the cake from us was included and then the venue paid us. The bride wanted a cake that looked like a birch tree with a fairly high level of detail. They showed me the picture and I said "awesome! I haven't done one that detailed before so I'd need to research how to make it realistic like that but it excites me!" The mom kept talking about one of our birch tree inspired cakes that she was shown when she came to the bakery the week prior. It was a buttercream cake that had lines to resemble a birch tree, but no one would mistake it for a tree. She kept going on and on about how horrible the one we had made was. I tried to say "well yes that's what that couple wanted". Normally in wedding tastings I'm pretty passive and agreeable; the bride (or whomever) is right even if her wedding is going to be tacky in my opinion. But I had to finally put my foot down and stand up for myself. "Ma'am, I totally understand what your daughter is asking for. She's wanting a hyper realistic birch tree cake. While I haven't done one exactly like that before, I am confident in my ability to recreate it. That other cake you keep referencing was what that couple wanted and they were thrilled with it. Please keep in mind that someone, meaning me, created that cake by hand and it's getting pretty insulting at this point. If you weren't aware, you are able to remove the cake from your package with the venue. You are not obligated to book with me so if you are unhappy with me, you can do that instead of continuing to insult me." I could tell she was taken aback. I had to get something from our kitchen so I excused myself, took a breather real quick, and then came back into the room. The bride was super nice and became the more talkative one and the mom was quiet. Thankfully, they did end up going with a different baker who I'm friends with. Oddly enough, she said they were perfectly pleasant. The florist that did their wedding also had major issues with the mom, as did the venue and wedding planner. Safe to say I dodged a bullet and I felt even more confident in myself.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

LukeNieuw — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 16:06:59 GMT

I tell our team to always start with empathy. Relate to their frustrations even if it's throwing yourself under the bus a little like "ya we really need to change that" or "I know I really hate when that happens to me" etc etc. This almost immediately diffuses the situation because you "understand" them and they feel like you're on "their team". Taking notes and telling them that you're doing it so we can make sure this doesn't happen again.

That works the majority of the time. But if someone gets belligerent we won't tolerate any verbal abuse so I am happy to tell them to never come back if they act that way.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

BTBerry — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 15:28:18 GMT

Listening is key. What they really want may be less than what you are willing to give. what they want may be a learning opportunity to improve your business. At least, that's how we look at it the last 32 years in business. I do my best not to argue, but I will stand up for myself professionally and let them know that everything we do can be remedied, removed or upgraded for improvement. I also know when to walk away, remove my product, give a full refund and invite them to never come back to my place of business. I love what I do and am very passionate doing my work. It simply makes me happy.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

shopfybr — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 15:56:25 GMT

We generally try to keep customers happy at all costs. I'd pay to have a negative review taken down so giving a refund is always better than getting a negative review, it's the cost of doing business.

Also there's that old wisdom that says a person will share a good experience with 2 friends and a bad experience with 10 friends!

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

3DService — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 18:40:43 GMT

Matthew 5:25 says: 'Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.' It's one of the hardest ways to deal with public because, it'll seem like you'll always be the guy to take the beating. My dad had a repair shop for approx. 25 years. Over the years I remember an occasional customer coming in all upset but, dad always took the blame and, went above and, beyond there demands and, always stayed quiet and, was very slow to respond. I've been in the business for about 5 years on my own and, have found his method to be the best! Recently I had a customer need an accessory taken off his machine. I was very loudly and, in no uncertain terms, told the thing was ****. So I took it off and pitched in the trash. A week later he needed that old piece back and, now! I tried to tell him I had pitched it. He ventured to call me all sorts of names and I was lying to him....... I tried to reason with him but, to no avail. He was taking me to court and, you name it. I quickly offered to buy him the same piece , new. He took me up and, I doubt he''ll ever be back! The piece wasn't a $5 item either! It was $500!

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

vivisboards — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 19:12:27 GMT

This is great. I have encountered similar experiences recently as well. As I own a charcuterie business and the bride's mothers I feel are a bit much at times (perhaps because they are holding the wallet). However, the constant phone calls for me as they are getting a huge discount for early booking. But I also feel that people want more but, pay less as well. Yet wanting the world. Needless to say, the grazing table was great and they loved it but things get a bit hairy and stressed and I think as they project this out on us professionals questioning the work. Let's just say it comes with the territory. 😉 WE got this always.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ReverendMike — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:18:14 GMT

First, the customer is NOT always right!

Customers will treat you as you train them to treat you. If the customer is right, I am the nicest guy in the world. But, if they're wrong, I won't pause when telling them so. If they don't agree, they can shop somewhere else and I'll tell them that. Being 6'3" and 300lbs, I get very few arguments. This is a Benevolent Dictatorship. I refuse to kiss someone's butt to make a sale.

You do everyone else in the world a disservice by allowing someone's selfishness to be fed.

Oh, and I live by the adage, Good customers rarely get better and bad customers almost always get worse.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:00:08 GMT

@sugarlab There's always that one customer you never forget about (even for those of us who have never run a business but have been in a customer-facing position)! It sounds like you handled it very gracefully! 👏

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:05:23 GMT

@vivisboards I love that outlook - we got this! 🙌 😊

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:07:42 GMT

That's really great advice, @LukeNieuw! It never hurts to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:13:47 GMT

Wow, 32 years in business is amazing, @BTBerry!

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:16:13 GMT

@shopfybr Interesting - I've never heard that saying, but I think that's definitely true, especially with social media these days.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:18:42 GMT

Wow, @3DService - I hope that customer appreciated your willingness to go above and beyond to resolve the issue!

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ElisabethB — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:21:40 GMT

@ReverendMike I laughed out loud at "Benevolent Dictatorship"! 🤣

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

sugarlab — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 23:13:07 GMT

Oh yea mother's of the brides are the worst! Not all the time of course but I usually have to deal with mom-zillas more than bride-zillas. Thankfully both are few and far between.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

mythicrunning — Fri, 25 Mar 2022 18:42:01 GMT

Absolutely 100% agree with you!

The only time the customer is always right is in matters of taste.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

ryanwanner — Sat, 26 Mar 2022 19:06:11 GMT

Completely agree with the Customer is not always right part!

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard when it comes to customer service:

The customer is not always right, but the customer you want back is always right.

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

JUYBoutique20 — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 19:28:33 GMT

Thank God I haven't had to deal with that yet in my business... Coming from working in big box retail companies I was always told the customer is always right.... A statement I've never agreed with and one of the reasons I wanted to run my own business. I had to stand up for my associates because corporate definitely wouldn't. I'll never forget this customer we had when I worked at Dillard's. She would come in every other week and spend $1,000 or more in handbags but would then bring them back to get refunded every month. It was so bad she had to have a management override in order to return in my area because she returned so much. Her husband was a local doctor and would come in often to get his clothing. One day in particular they so happen to be in the store at the same time. On this particular day she was causing a fuss because she wanted to return bags past the return date again. I was paged to the handbag counter and as I was going her husband stopped me to say hi and actually walked downstairs with me (he was a bit of a flirt 😆). When we made it down there, she was being very rude and acting very entitled with my associate. Her husband walked up to her and asked her what she was doing there and why she was acting the way she was. She yelled because you won't give me money to shop anymore and you left me. Apparently, they were going through a divorce, and he had cut off her allowance and she was using us as basically a rent the runway type of operation. They argued back and forth for a bit and then she packed up her bags and left. I guess she was so embarrassed that we all now knew exactly what was going on and because her hubby called her out on her behavior she didn't come back to our store. Hmmm I wonder if they ever worked out 🤔?

Re: How do you handle frustrated customers? 😡

TheRio — Sat, 26 Mar 2022 20:27:54 GMT

My day job is handling angry homeowners via email all day for the past 4 years.

Staying true to your policy and avoiding the “But you” and the “You said” sentence starters to make them feel more self-righteous can take away anger when you are restating a policy (if that is broken).

As far as complaints on the product production and outcome, I ask for specifics as to what is wrong. Me and a customer has a misunderstanding because they did not read my item description. But just gently defending yourself is okay if you have already addressed it🙌 Asking also can catch anyone who may be making a fuss about something that has already been disclosed and/or catching people who just want a refund or replacement.

That same 1 star reviewer changed their review to a 4 star after hearing me out. I addressed calmly but affirmatively. They wanted a replacement out of me but sticking to my policies and going through my inventory for “production” issues they sought to point out helped do a 360 for them.

Its also worth mentioning that if you have to repeat yourself twice, they are simply not there to hear it. If a third time is hinted, don’t repeat yourself, give a brief description of your previous statements, what you will do to help, and what you will not. If they can not abide by them, don’t bother yourself further with them. (Add these to your regulations of returns and refunds to avoid in the future)

As now I am drafting regulations for any returns and refunds to disclose with customers to avoid this problem again.

Customer service takes patience and time. Sometimes you just need to see the signs of wanting a reaction, refund, replacement, or genuine complaint out of you.

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